I have a thing for top X lists. They are easy to read, and no matter what is on the list, there is always one thing that causes that light bulb moment. So I came across a list for how to be more confident, and it started me thinking about our state of mind. Here is my list to encourage a positive state of mind every day.
1. Learn from the past (10 minutes ago, yesterday, last year, or even high school drama, etc.) regardless of the outcome; don’t beat yourself up about the things that didn’t turn out your way. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time. There are no failures, only feedback.
2. Be prepared. Prepared for what you might ask. Well every day is different, so be prepared to meet the challenges and opportunities of the day. My husband is the poster child for preparedness, and he has taught me well, along with making me a little crazy along the way. For example, when we are going to any get together—family, friends, business, whatever, he will run through the names of all the people that he knows will be there. Not just the new people, but everyone including the ones he has known for most of his life. That may seem extreme, but being prepared doesn’t just mean you are ready to give a presentation at work or being prepared for a job interview, but for all the little things throughout the day.
3. Develop and play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence. If you’re not sure of your strength’s ask a friend or family member. They will usually be able to rattle off all sorts of things you are good at.
4. Develop your areas for improvement. Know and appreciate that you can’t be perfect at everything. Put a plan in place to improve them over time. Especially as parents, there are always things we can improve on when it comes to our kids. For me, I am working on being more patient, less of a control freak, more confident and social, and more organized.
5. Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question or idea that you’ve asked yourself. Some days it may be the only thing you have control of. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Be aware of your thoughts…after all, you are the one thinking them.
6. Become a Rhinoceros. Develop thick skin and don’t let the words of others affect you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem; it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. I read an article that said if someone calls you a clock; it probably wouldn’t affect you, because you know you are not a clock. The same holds true when people may try to label you as something you know that you are not.
7. At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day. All too often we don’t give ourselves credit for what we’ve done. I usually make a mental list of all the things I have done wrong… yelling at the kids, not being patient enough, not accomplishing everything I should have. While that may help me to recognize short comings and try harder tomorrow, it doesn’t allow for any appreciation of the things that I did well and did accomplish.
8. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a big impact on your mind set. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Along with thoughts, some days, body language may be the only thing you feel like you can control. But it really does work by almost tricking your mind to feel more powerful and in control.
9. Emotion is created by motion. Like point 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around your body – it makes you feel better and more confident.
10. And finally – ask yourself in 10 years’ time will what I am worrying about really matter? This one can be easier said than done, because it may not matter in 10 years, but it matters right now. But often times by asking yourself the 10 year question, it can bring to light that what you are worrying about is more trivial than you first thought.